Choosing Holiday Traditions With Intention
The holiday season can bring with it many joyous moments but at times can also feel stressful and riddled with expectation. Learn more about bringing intentionality to how you spend this season.
What is often thought of as the most joyful time of year can also bring a mix of anticipation, stress, and a long list of things we’re “supposed” to do. There are the familiar rituals that many of us participate in year after year, such as travel plans, gift exchanges, decorations, family dinners. When you pause and ask why, the answer often comes back as a shrug: That’s just the way it’s always been.
But what if your holidays didn’t have to run on autopilot? What if this year, instead of surviving the season, you shaped it into something meaningful, manageable, and aligned with who you and your family are right now?
As a therapist, I often see clients wrestling with the emotional weight of the holidays. There’s pressure to recreate a perfect past, to meet everyone’s expectations, or to hold on to traditions that no longer fit. Yet the holidays are, at their core, meant to connect us to what matters. And connection requires intention.
Start With Your Values, Not Your Calendar
Before thinking about what you’ll do this season, reflect on how you want to feel during it. Perhaps you crave rest, connection, playfulness, spirituality, or simplicity. These values can become your compass.
Ask yourself:
What do I want this season to nurture in me?
What does my family need more of—peace, structure, joy, downtime, community?
Which traditions naturally support these values—and which don’t?
If we didn’t already do this, would we choose it now?
When your values lead the way, the traditions that truly matter often reveal themselves. Not every tradition needs to be grand or time-consuming. Some of the most meaningful rituals are small, repeatable moments that communicate care.
If you need to set a boundary
Shifting long-held traditions can stir up feelings in others. Remember: boundaries can coexist with love. It’s helpful to approach these conversations with clarity and warmth:
Acknowledge what the tradition has meant.
Share your values and needs for this season.
Offer alternatives or compromises if appropriate.
You might be surprised how many family members feel the same relief you do when someone finally says, “Maybe we don’t have to keep doing it this way.” Letting go of a tradition, even temporarily, doesn’t erase history. Instead, it can create space for something even more supportive.
Families change. Children grow. People move. Life circumstances shift. Your traditions can shift, too.
Creating new traditions
Think of this season as a chance to experiment: What happens if you try something new? What rituals emerge naturally? What feels grounding, playful, or genuinely nourishing? You’re not committing to a new forever-tradition—you’re simply exploring what fits this year. A few new ideas may include:
Sharing one thing you’re grateful for before a holiday meal.
Taking a quiet winter walk together.
Lighting a candle for someone you miss.
Making a specific recipe that feels grounding.
Choosing one charity or cause to support as a family.
Finding What Works for You
The holidays don’t need to be perfect, and they don’t need to be a reenactment of the past. When you pause to name what matters most and intentionally choose what you participate in, the season becomes less about obligation and more about meaning.
This year, give yourself permission to craft a holiday experience that supports your well-being, reflects your values, and honors where you and your family are right now.
If you want support in identifying your values or setting a boundary, Inward Bound Psychology has a great team of therapists that can do this with you. This post is written by our very own Chelsea Kelba- she, alongside the rest of our talented team, would love to hear from you. You’re not alone in navigating a difficult season - reach out for help if you need to. Contact us using the form below, or visit our Therapists and Booking page.
