Easing Back To School

Written By Vanessa McConnell

A family therapist’s guide for transitioning back to school while navigating uncertainty.

With additional stressors and unknowns about Alberta’s return to the classroom, this year’s school transition may bring with it certain anxieties or feelings of overwhelm. Check out this guide with helpful tips to keep in mind as your family settles into a new routine.

September often means cooler weather, crunchy leaves, and a flurry of activities centered around returning to school. This can ramp up both the excitement and the chaos in your family - whether your children are looking forward to starting school again or dreading it, the sheer amount of “newness” can be overwhelming. There can be new logistical concerns, such as schedule and commute changes, and also new relationships to navigate, such as  teachers and  classmates. Altogether, this can leave kids and families unsettled while they recalibrate.

This is a season of adjustment, not perfection. The messiness of the first few weeks of school doesn’t mean that you’re doing anything wrong as a parent - it’s part of the natural process of transitioning to a new season. Below are six tips to support you and your children in navigating the transition.

 

  1. Expect the Transition to Feel Messy: When the school year starts, emotions tend to run high. Kids may be extra tired or cranky, and parents often feel like they’re juggling too many balls at once. This is completely normal. Chaos in the first weeks is not a sign of failure—it’s a sign that your family is adjusting to a new rhythm. Offering yourself and your kids some grace during this time can take some of the pressure off. Think of it as a settling-in period rather than an indication for how the rest of the school year will go.

  2. Understand “After School Restraint Collapse”: Many parents notice that their child comes home from school completely overwhelmed - tears, meltdowns, or irritability seem to appear out of nowhere. This is an actual phenomenon, called “after school restraint collapse”. During the day, kids work hard to manage their emotions, follow rules, and navigate social situations. By the time they get home - where they feel safe - they finally release all the pent-up stress.

    This doesn’t mean your child is being difficult or ungrateful; it actually means they trust you enough to let their guard down. Anticipating this can help you respond with compassion. Instead of jumping straight into homework or chores, build in some downtime: a snack, quiet play, or cuddles. A softer landing after school can ease the evening for everyone.

  3. Create Anchors of Stability at Home: One of the best ways to support your family through the transition is to create a few reliable routines. These don’t need to be elaborate. Simple anchors - such as a predictable bedtime ritual like reading together, a shared family dinner a few times a week, or a  morning routine with moments of connection, such as doing their hair or picking out clothes together  - help kids feel safe and grounded. Choose one or two anchors that feel realistic for your household and focus on keeping those consistent. The goal isn’t rigidity, but rather a sense of reliability that helps everyone feel more settled.

  4. Prioritize Connection Over Perfection: Amid the mental load of school forms, packed lunches, and after-school activities, it’s easy to get caught up in doing everything “just right.” But what children need most in times of transition is connection. A few minutes of undivided attention - a bedtime chat, a quick “rose and thorn” reflection about their day, or even a hug before school - can go a long way. These moments may seem small, but to your kids, they make a huge impact - they help kids regulate their stress and remind them that they’re not navigating the change alone.

  5. Share the Load and Communicate as a Team: Back-to-school season can be particularly stressful for parents and caregivers. It helps to approach it as a team effort. Take time to talk with your partner, co-parent, or support system about how responsibilities will be shared. Maybe one person handles lunches while the other oversees bedtime, or you divide drop-off and pick-up. Clear communication and frequent check-ins with each other prevents resentment and keeps everyone from burning out. Remember: parents need care and rest too, in order to show up well for their kids.

  6. Manage Expectations and Celebrate Small Wins: Finally, keep in mind that it takes time for a routine to feel comfortable. Instead of aiming for perfection, celebrate the small victories: everyone made it out the door on time, a forgotten library book eventually made it back, or you survived the first week without too many meltdowns. These are wins worth noticing. By modeling flexibility and self-compassion, you’re teaching your kids valuable lessons about resilience and distress tolerance.

The back-to-school transition is temporary, and in a few weeks, your family will settle into a rhythm that feels more natural. In the meantime, focus on connection, consistency, and grace - for your kids and for yourself. This season isn’t about getting everything right - it’s about growing together and finding steadiness in the midst of change.

 

Finding What Works for You

This post is written By Chelsea Kelba, one of Inward Bound’s amazing therapists with experience in supporting families navigate life’s ups and downs. If you would like to find more helpful strategies for you and your family to navigate back to school or other times of transition in your lives, Chelsea, or others on our team, would love to help you create unique approaches that match your family’s needs.

You can reach out with questions or for help determining next steps for you. Contact us using the form below, or visit our Therapists and Booking page.

 

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